Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Sweets attract flies & I attract freaks

This is something you guys never knew about me.. I am a living freak magnet!

Meet Freak No1

It was a Christmas morning and the year was 2005. As it happens every year now, I was invited to my friends place for Christmas lunch. I just stopped on the way to buy a cake for them and as i walked back to the bus stop, a decent looking guy around 24 or something walked upto me. He asked me for the directions to reach the bus stop and where exactly he could get the bus and all. Well remembering my good manners, i showed him the way and gave him the directions and started to walk away! I might have taken like 5-6 steps, the guy walks back to me and asks me 'hi are you free tonight? can i take you out for dinner'.. for a second my mind refused to think anything and then when it got back in action, i just blurted out saying 'no thanks' and rushed out from there...All i was thinking at that moment was 'am gonna shoot the next guy who asks me for directions!'

Meet Freak No2

Last year i was waiting for the bus after my work and doing my random mulling over business. A girl between the age bar 19-22 came and stood next to me. By instinct, I just glanced at her for a second between my dreaming sessions and go back to my own dream land immediately. After a minute, purely by some weird human instincts, i could feel the female next to me moving a little more towards me and looking at me. After another minute she finally started the conversation:

Girl: Excuse me... your dupatta is really pretty.. where did you get it from.

Me: I got it from Bangalore (giving her a decent smile of mine)

Girl: Oh so u stay in Bangalore huh?

Me: No.. i just got it when i went over there.( still holding onto the decent smile)

Girl: Ok.. so you are staying here itself then.

Me: yeah (and a smile)

The female was looking a little dazed according to me.. like someone living in a zombie world.. her eyes were looking lost.. i was wondering whether she was drunk or doped or something.. but she dint look like a female who would do any such thing.. seemed like a pretty decent chit from here dressing sense.. then she moved a little more closer to me and now again my instincts were all screaming at me that she's staring at you... then again i just glanced her way to prove my instincts wrong.. and there she was.. indeed staring at me in a weird way and that freaked me all out.. then again she goes about to ask..

Girl: Do know what time is it now?

Me: Sorry i dont have a watch you see.. so i dont know ( showing her my wrists and silently cursing at the bus for taking so long)

Girl: Actually, i seem to have lost the time.. i cant figure out the time at all..

Then i saw my bus coming...

Me: I think the girl over there has a watch.. you can probably ask her...(pointing out my finger at a random girl with a small smile and a thanking prayer to the driver in my mind ran towards the bus)

I still wonder what was with that girl there.. cos she looked totally lost and confused to me... i kinda feel bad for her too.. she was looking like a lost dove in a very freaky way...

Meet Freak No3

This guy came for interview at my office and since that day there wasn anyone appropriate to take his interview.. my colleague suggested me to do it... Well the fellow finally came for the interview and it felt like he was the one taking our interview instead of us. These are random freakish questions he asks:

Me: So could you please explain me about the projects listed in your resume.

Fella: (explains the project and then) You see i should not be telling you this.. but i was betrayed before by the people in my old office.. they cheated on me...

Me: Oh ok ( why the hell are you even telling me this if you should not be telling this!)

Fella: So what is your qualification?

A little taken back and confused with this new sort of interview, i reply him back remebering my good manners her again..

Fella: So how much are these people paying you presently?

Me: Huh? (whats happening here)

Then my mobile rings and i cut the call...

Fella: Which connection are you using... Airtel or Vodofone? How many free messages do you have in a day?

I had reached my frustration peak by then..

We guys give him some small program to be done and the fella goes out to complain that the computer's hardware is not properly installed and will have to be re-installed again... (maybe he needs his internal system to be re-installed again)... well we tell him its ok.. he can leave now.. we will give him a call later and let him know.. he refuses and says that he doesn have any work for the entire day and will not leave until the program works( God save me phulease!)..

Finally we give up and i call my other colleague whose suggested that i take his interview and crib to him about this guy... He tells me to hand over the phone to the fella and talks to the him for a while. Finally the fella hands me my phone back after talking and shuts the computer down and walks out.

All of us in the office take a deep breath and the fella walks back into the office again (gosh what is he.. the betal from vikram aur betal huh?) . He comes to me and goes about to ask me.. 'so what feedback did you give him back about me' (he's refering to the colleague whom i spoke to on the phone.. who will be hiring him)... I give back a blank stare and he goes on saying 'did you tell him i was good at my work?' (Spare me the torture pleeasseee)

He really had a great knowledge but then the worst kind of communicating skills!!!

Phufff!!! I guess i have it all written over my forehead in a invisible ink.."I will and shall survive to attract freaks anywhere and everywhere"


Suresh Kumar said...

Wow! What a tittle !!!

I expected something different. But I was not completely disappointed :))

I hope the freak shows continue in the future. At least it would entertain us in the blog sphere :))

Well written and a good read.

chandni said...

waah waah....quite the entertaining!

Charmed One! said...

Lolz yeah i don think i will ever be deprived of my own freak shows!

Thank u! :)

iforgotthat said...

me new to kinda stumbled across. now glad that i visited :)

Charmed One! said...

am very happy when people stumble across to my blog :) ..
welcome to our blogger's world....